If Tomorrow Never Comes
by Maranatha-Girl
Summary: Jack does some pondering off-world, I'm new at this, please review. :)
1. Default Chapter

"If Tomorrow Never Comes"  
  
Sometimes late at night  
  
I lie awake and watch her sleeping  
  
She's lost in peaceful dreams  
  
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Ok. When we're off world, I can get away with this. I'm the only one awake, and I can sit there and take her in with out shame. I can't do that anywhere else. She would catch me and she's smart enough she'll figure it out. That I'm smitten I mean. I don't know what I would do with out her.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
And the thought crosses my mind  
  
If I never wake up in the morning  
  
Would she ever doubt the way I feel  
  
About her in my heart  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Oh God. Every day that pops into my head. It sickens me every time. It kills me that I can't be honest with her. I hate this, this, whole mess. I detest it. Abhor it. Loathe, despise, spurn, deride, mock, distain. You get the picture.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
If tomorrow never comes  
  
Will she know how much I loved her  
  
Did I try in every way to show her every day  
  
That she's my only one  
  
And if my time on earth were through  
  
And she must face the world without me  
  
Is the love I gave her in the past  
  
Gonna be enough to last  
  
If tomorrow never comes  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
I can't look at her anymore. It hurts to much. Instead it stare at the fire. Who knows how long I sat there, but when my vision became blurry, I realized I was crying. I just don't want to loose her.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life  
  
Who never knew how much I loved them  
  
Now I live with the regret  
  
That my true feelings for them never were revealed  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
I thought about Charlie. I was hardly home. I have often wondered if he really knew how much I cared for him. How much I loved him. Then again, I was allowed to tell him I loved him.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
So I made a promise to myself  
  
To say each day how much she means to me  
  
And avoid that circumstance  
  
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
I made that promise a long time ago. Before Daniel "died", before Teal'C was stuck in a wormhole, before replicators, before Jolinar. God, that was the worst. I thought I was gonna lose her again. She came so close, and she would have never known.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
If tomorrow never comes  
  
Will she know how much I loved her  
  
Did I try in every way to show her every day  
  
That she's my only one  
  
And if my time on earth were through  
  
And she must face the world without me  
  
Is the love I gave her in the past  
  
Gonna be enough to last  
  
If tomorrow never comes  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
The suns are starting to come up now. I pull myself together, I once again transform from Jack, the love struck, to Colonel O' Neill, the cold and heartless. I go over and make some coffee. The aroma must have woken her up, because I usually let her sleep as long as possible.  
  
"Colonel what time is it? Why didn't you wake me up for my watch?"  
  
"Oh, you looked tired yesterday, like you needed the rest more then me."  
  
Which was true of course, but like I would tell her the real reason right here, right, now.  
  
"Well, thank you sir, I didn't think you noticed."  
  
"I-I do notice. I notice you."  
  
My reward is one of those smiles that just make life worth living. I think I'll talk to General Hammond when we get back home. After all, you never know if tomorrow will come or not.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
So tell that someone that you love  
  
Just what you're thinking of  
  
If tomorrow never comes 


	2. Can't be Just Friends Anymore

It took two months and three trips to D.C to do it, but I wouldn't have it any other way. The president finally agreed that SG1 needs to stay together, and that the two highest officers in the SGC need to be happy. He let us be together. Now I can only hope that she will want this.  
  
I'm gonna invite SG1 over for 'team bonding' time tonight, maybe Janet and Cassi too. I'm hoping that tonight will be the right time to tell her.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"Hey Carter."  
  
So, now I'm in her lab. I don't think I've ever been so nervous. I've always been cautious, I don't want to do anything I'd regret. That's why I always fiddle with her stuff. I gives me something to focus on and it keeps my hands busy.  
  
"Hey Sir. Is briefing still at 1145?"  
  
"Yep. I hate it being so close to lunch. I always get so hungry right in the middle of Dannys presentations."  
  
"Yessir." She said with a laugh.  
  
I started to play with another one of her gizmos, trying to avoid the subject. I really don't know why.  
  
"Colonel, is there a specific reason you came?"  
  
So much for avoiding the subject.  
  
"Actually yea, a bunch of us are coming over to my house later tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to come? Cassi's coming to."  
  
"Well,"  
  
"Oh, come on. It wouldn't be that same with out you."  
  
"I was gonna say what time should I be there."  
  
Big grin in 5-4-3-2-1. HAHAHA!!  
  
"5:30ish?" I say with a huge honkin' smile.  
  
"Sounds great Sir, should I bring anything?"  
  
"Nope, I got it all covered."  
  
"OK."  
  
I don't want to leave.  
  
"What'cha working on?"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
~Jacks Place~  
  
I think I walked around all day with that grin on my face. Now I'm sitting in my living room with Danny, Teal'C, Janet, Cassi, and Sam. We've got pizza and we're watching 'The Mummy Returns'. Just try and guess who brought that.  
  
"We should really get going guys. Get your coat Cas."  
  
"Me too. Can I give you a ride Tea'C?  
  
"That would be more beneficial DanielJackson. I thank you."  
  
"Thanks for coming guys. See ya tomorrow."  
  
And just like that I'm alone with her.  
  
"I should go to sir. I-"  
  
"Oh stick around for a while Carter. Help me clean up a bit maybe?"  
  
She laughs a bit and nods in agreement.  
  
As we are about finished, I put in a CD I burned yesterday. It has a few songs on it that apply to our situation. The first one is 'If Tomorrow Never Comes'. The song that helped me get off me butt and get some regulations changed. The next one explains exactly how I feel right now.  
  
We sit down on the couch just as the first song ends.  
  
"Car- Sam?"  
  
I think that got her attention.  
  
"Yes Sir??"  
  
"Could' Ya just listen to this next song please? Please??"  
  
She just nods and stares at her hands as it starts.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
This might come as quite a shock,  
  
But I've given it a lot of thought.  
  
This thing that's come between us can't be ignored.  
  
I've taken all I can;  
  
This is where it's gotta end.  
  
'Cause I can't be your friend anymore.  
  
An' I can't be accused,  
  
Of not bein' there for you.  
  
How many nights have you shown up at my door?  
  
I hope you understand,  
  
That this wasn't in my plans But I can't be your friend anymore.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
I don't know why, but it seems appropriate to hold her hands in mine. So, that's what I do.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
An' it's killin' me to know you,  
  
Without havin' a chance to hold you.  
  
An' all I wanna do is show you,  
  
How I really feel inside.  
  
You can run to me,  
  
You can laugh at me,  
  
Or you can walk right out that door.  
  
But I can't be your friend anymore.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
She looks up to me, and I get lost in the flood of those deep blue eyes.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
So, baby, now it's up to you:  
  
Do I win or do I lose?  
  
Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor.  
  
Well, take me as I am,  
  
'Cause I wanna be your man.  
  
But I can't be your friend anymore.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
I pull her up to her feet and I wrap my arms around her, rocking back and forth to the music. Her is buried in my chest and I'm holding her tight. I inhale the smell of her and try to memorize every second of dancing with her. Because if she decides to walk out the door, I want to remember this for the rest of my life.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
An' it's killin' me to know you,  
  
Without havin' a chance to hold you.  
  
An' all I wanna do is show you,  
  
How I really feel inside.  
  
You can run to me,  
  
You can laugh at me,  
  
Or you can walk right out that door.  
  
But I can't be just friends anymore.  
  
We can't be just friends anymore.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
She looks up at me, her eyes full of questions and confusion.  
  
"Sam, I can't live one more day as just your friend. Lord knows I always want to be in your life, but more then a friend. Ok?"  
  
"But-"  
  
"I've cleared it with the president. I think he likes us."  
  
Despite the tears falling down her cheeks, she laughs a bit and buries her head in my chest. From the depths of nowhere, I heard her say 'OK'.  
  
After awhile, I pulled away and gazed at her beautiful face, and before I realized what I was doing, I was kissing her. It was amazing. Just expressing how we felt. Letting out seven years of love. When we separated, I could only think of one thing.  
  
"I love you. So, so much. And I will love you. Till my dying day."  
  
"I love you to."  
  
As our lips meet again, the third song on the CD starts to play, and it, once again is perfect. 


	3. Come What May

~~blah blah blah~~ is a flashback in a flashback (I hope that makes sence)  
  
~~~~~~  
  
~Six months later~  
  
She is so beautiful. I really can't believe that she'd ever fall for me. And I never thought that she could be my wife. I always knew that I'd wanted to be with her and God knows it when I say I love her, I just never thought that I could make her mine. We had a small wedding, nothing fancy. Just family, and of course some aliens. Right now we are having the 'Post- Wedding-Party'. Janet couldn't help but remind me of the 'Post-Mission- Physicals'. It's outdoors in a really nice park, and they are about to start the dancing. I planned this little thing, for Sam. The song I told the D.J. to play will eventually become 'our song' I hope. It's the third song on the C.D. The announcer guy calls us all together and announces the first dance (isn't that his job?). So, I'm already on the porch where all the dancing is, and here she comes. I will never get tired of watching her. The way she looks, the way she stands, the way the sun catches every little highlight in her hair. She is so beautiful. She catches me watching her, and she turns the slightest shade of pink. I love that about her too. She is so brilliant and pretty, yet she still finds time to be humble. She walks to me, and I meet her in the middle of the floor as the music plays.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Never knew I could feel like this  
  
Like I've never seen the sky before  
  
I want to vanish inside your kiss  
  
Every day I'm loving you more than this  
  
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings  
  
Telling me to give you everything  
  
Seasons may change, winter to spring  
  
But I love you until the end of time  
  
~~~~~~  
  
As I hold her, oblivious the world, I allow myself to remember what I had forced myself to forget, when we couldn't be together.  
  
//Where's he transferring from?  
  
*She* is transferring from the Pentagon. I take it you're Colonel O'Neill. Captain Samantha Carter reporting, sir.//  
  
//You know, you really will like me when you get to know me.  
  
Oh, I adore you already, Captain.//  
  
//Sir, you've gotta get out of here!  
  
So do you.//  
  
// "You know, there are things about this place that I like."  
  
"Really??. . OH!"  
  
"Would it mean anything if I told you I remember something else?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Feelings."  
  
"Feelings?"  
  
"I remember feeling --- feelings."  
  
"For me?"  
  
"No, for TOR. I don't remember much, but I DO remember that."//  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Come what may  
  
Come what may  
  
I will love you until my dying day  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Oh, Sweet Lord. I've never been the praying type, but thanks for letting me be here, with her. Because I couldn't imagine my life with out her.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place  
  
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace  
  
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste  
  
It all revolves around you  
  
And there's no mountain too high  
  
No river too wide  
  
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side  
  
Storm clouds may gather  
  
And stars may collide  
  
But I love you until the end of time  
  
~~~~~~  
  
//"I am within. You are O'Neill."  
  
"Yeah, we've established that."  
  
"This one has memory of you."  
  
"The one you're talking about is a person. Her name is Major Samantha Carter."  
  
"Then I am Major."  
  
"No. No you're not."//  
  
// "You value the life of one."  
  
"Yes we do."  
  
"This one is important."  
  
"She is."//  
  
//~~Sir, there's no time! ~~  
  
"There were sounds."  
  
"You did everything you could."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You couldn't save her?"  
  
"No."  
  
"But you still could have saved yourself."  
  
"I guess. "  
  
~~Sir ...  
  
"I know! I know!" ~~  
  
"What happened next? "  
  
~~Sir! Just go!  
  
NO!!!!!!!!!!!! ~~  
  
"What were you feeling?"  
  
"Like ... someone who was about to die. "  
  
"Sir ..."  
  
"I didn't leave ... because I'd have rather died myself ... than loose Carter."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I care about her ... Allot more than I'm supposed to." //  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Oh, come what may, come what may  
  
I will love you, I will love you  
  
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place  
  
Come what may  
  
Come what may  
  
I will love you until my dying day  
  
~~~~~~  
  
As the song ends, I look into her eyes, and I know that we will always be more then friends, and if tomorrow never comes, I will love her. Till my dying day.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Ok, the ending isn't what I want it to be, but I think I've lost all inspiration for this story. Thanks much for the reviews! 


End file.
